


You hurt him.

by indeedee (never_minde)



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brother/Brother Incest, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Family Issues, Kissing, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22465336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_minde/pseuds/indeedee
Summary: Leon wasn’t supposed to find out about the bruises. The fractures. The cuts and marks that littered his younger brother’s body, whenever Hop was home with their family, and Leon was far away in Wyndon.It was easy to smile for Leon. It was easy to want to make sure his brother never had to learn the ugly truth. Didn’t Lee deserve to have a loving family? Hop didn’t, no, but that was immaterial. Until he visits Postwick on the wrong day and everything goes south...
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Hop, minor Hop/Masaru | Victor/Yuuri | Gloria
Comments: 43
Kudos: 178





	1. blood.

It takes his mother fracturing his arm at the back of the elbow with a metal, thick-plated ladle in the family kitchen for Hop to realize he messed up by coming home.

Pain radiates white hot from the unfortunate slam of metal against the most sensitive nerve in his entire arm. The white shooting agony is a quick-fire jolt that reverberates up Hop’s outer elbow all the way to his skull, making him suck in a gasp and his vision darken momentarily. He nearly passes out for the pain.

Instead he crumples to the floor when his mum follows up with a hard slap to his face. It staggers him when he’s got no sense of balance left to fall back on, and he tries and fails to get up on hands that won’t support his weight, scrawny as it is.

He was so stupid to come here; he thinks distantly in a numb sort of terror while her footsteps close the distance.

He’s trying to cover his head, curled up once he realizes he’s not getting up. But Hop’s unable to lift his arm properly where she struck him, the pain still reverberating horribly in his left elbow so that he feels it in his stomach, in his spine.

Home sweet home again. The only comfort Hop has right now is that Leon can’t see him like this.

Even now—even separated from that dream of being Champion—Hop still hates so much how weak he is and how slow.

His Pokémon can’t help him. Hop was stupid. Enough to leave them on his belt upstairs.

What could they have done anyway? he wonders, terror filling him even as she approaches. She's his _mother_.

And then she's closing in to yank his shirt forward and leave another ringing slap across his face so hard that Hop sees stars.

* * *

Hop knew that Victor and Gloria would be in town from Wyndon. After having no company but Sonia for nearly a month, Hop is desperate to see them, or else he wouldn’t be in Postwick, wouldn’t be at his mother and his grandmother and his grandfather’s mercy like he’s always been when no one else is home.

The twins are safe. They know about…they know. They’re terrified but they understand, they’ve always kept his secret when he begged.

They always invite him to stay at their place, but as always Hop declined.

He was nervous, though he realizes now, too late, he should have been afraid for his life instead. He knows it would look badly to his mum, if she saw him over across the way at Victor and Gloria’s without so much as coming over to say hello.

And if Hop says hello and then _leaves_ , spends the night in a neighbor’s home, his grandparents will be offended.

It’s all such a ridiculous nonsense ritual, bound up on social cues from bygone days. They all don’t have enough neighbors here in Postwick to care; Hop knows his family doesn’t even want him here. They never did.

Mum is happy, proud, even, Hop thinks sometimes, not certain he would know that if he saw it in her face but wanting to believe. Of how Hop lives in Wedgehurst, now, while working at the research lab.

Hop shouldn’t have come back here. He’s older than he was when he left home. Hop’s almost twelve—he thought that this was over.

It wasn’t over.

* * *

His mother screams something inarticulately and seizes a pan lid from the stove.

Hop understands what she’s about to do and goes nearly white with fear. He gasps out again, trying to get his arms and legs beneath him on the kitchen tile. He makes an effort scramble to his hands and knees, to get out of the way.

He’s moving too slowly, arm hurting so so badly still from where she smashed it with the ladle like a blunted weapon instead of a kitchen utensil—the glass lid smashes him over the head and he can hear it crack (he _hopes_ it’s the lid that’s cracked) before he can move, and he crumples forward like a doll.

His head becomes a single aching bruise form the inside out. He opens his eyes with no small amount of effort and his eyes widen, dilated, to see the shadow of his mother looming over him in double vision. Her face is still red with fury. Hop doesn’t even remember what he did—maybe turn the stove off like he would a burner at the lab, both for safety and to save some coin on gasoline.

He should have stayed with the twins, Hop thinks belatedly as he stares up in horror, gasping for air.

Hop wonders numbly, if this is how he dies.

* * *

It wasn’t just about what his family in Postwick would think.

Staying with the twins is…too much, sometimes.

Not because they’re cruel. The way his mother is, when company or Leon’s not around.

It’s really the opposite. And Hop doesn’t know how to handle it. He feels lost, in a maze that’s only a maze to _him_. A loving home is a labyrinth any other person could walk simply through like a path set in a straight line, or so it feels sometimes, watching the twins bickering without any bite to the words in a way that bewilders him, watching their mother smile at them even when she scolds.

Like a TV family. Something from a fantasy. Something Hop’s greatest accomplishment, probably, is that he’s managed to convince Leon all these years that _they_ have, too.

The twins and their mum are so achingly kind, is all. No one is kind to Hop besides his brother. It’s unnerving to face in a house that’s so close, minus the pictures of his brother and the countless trophies and mementoes on the wall, to resemble his own.

Hop doesn’t belong there in that house where nobody is screaming or yanking him by the arm for something he’s long forgotten he had done.

He feels that way no matter how often they beg and plead for him to stay.

The three of them sharing one bed isn’t as cramped and uncomfortable as it sounds, as much as it can get a little much sometimes with how clingy both of them are in their sleep. The twins don’t mind sharing a bed, even after all this time, but they seem to have a silent, awkward agreement in place it’s better having another person there laying between them when they both share a tendency to over-cuddle the nearest warm body in their sleep.

Hop knows how much they enjoy it, probably without thinking too hard about things the way he does, keeping Hop coddled in between them like a giant plush Munchlax. They grasp at his arms with their hands in their sleep, and nuzzle in close, without realizing how little space is left to separate the three of them on waking. It should be a comforting gesture to know they trust him like that, but more often than not the close contact makes Hop plain _uncomfortable_ simply for how little he’s used to it.

No one really touches him that way, holds or hugs or coddles. It’s the way that some families are with children but Hop’s, no. Not that he can remember.

Not—Not anything affectionate, anyway.

The only person that ever hugged or held him Hop can remember before the twins was Leon, and Leon just wasn’t there for so much of Hop’s childhood into adolescent that it feels odd-strange-wrong to have anyone lay their hands on him if not to hurt. That, he knows what to expect. That he can handle.

Leon doesn’t hug him either, anymore. Hop’s fine with that. His brother hasn’t done so since the time that Hop and Gloria with a protesting Victor at their heels entered the Slumbering Weald, intending to save a lost Wooloo only to end up sprawled out on the ground unconscious until Lee came for them.

Hop still remembers the air leaving his lungs and his entire body stiffening, as Leon had pulled all three of them frantically into his arms. Hop thinks he actually _whited out_ for a moment from the shock, because the next thing he remembers after that is standing in front of his older brother—at a normal, safe distance from him, that is. A step apart, looking up at Leon like always.

* * *

It’s easy to smile for Leon, Hop thinks.

Leon is the best thing in Hop’s life. Hop swears he feels his heart swell up with pride and happiness every time his brother looks at him.

Leon’s like the sun. If he found out what their mum was like when he’s out in Wyndon—no, no, Hop vows to himself every time he imagines it, shuddering. He _can’t_.

Hop can’t bear the thought, especially now, when Leon’s got so much work and so much energy poured into the new Battle Tower he’s created for all of Galar to use. Hop fears more than anything, seeing that secure golden light flicker and fade away from his brother’s eyes. Because of him.

And it gets worse. Because it’s not just mum that’s in the wrong at this point, that Leon might get upset at, if he didn’t come around to the idea that his brother deserves it.

And why shouldn’t he? Hop always thinks in despair, burying his face in his hands when he imagines the look of betrayal on Leon’s face to learn the truth.

Hop doesn’t deserve his help any more than Leon deserves to have his home ruined by Hop’s poisoning it, their mother and grandparents’ anger, every time Hop enters unaccompanied.

Hop’s been lying to his older brother for so long now that he can’t _stop_.

* * *

When Hop comes to, he’s been dragged up to sitting in a hard wooden chair and half-sprawled across a spot at the surface of kitchen table. Mum’s yells, and his grandmother’s stiff admonitions, to get up, stop lazing about, turn the gears in his sluggish-moving mind.

They keep shouting, hurting his aching head so much it feels liable to split open, until Hop he _somehow_ gets himself upright on shaking arms. His eyes won’t focus, no matter how much they tell him to stop spacing out and pay attention.

He’s to go back to Wedgehurst, Hop absorbs thickly through the pounding in his skull, the drip of blood adding to what’s coagulated already on his jacket. He…He has to get the money from Sonia, an advance on his next paycheck. Replace the pan lid he broke, because that’s what it’s called when his mother hit him so hard on the bck of the head that the dish glass cracked. When Hop’s got two black eyes on top of the double vision and a sneaking suspicion that this is his third concussion.

He nods at his mum and his grandmother, trying not to show any attitude by letting on how much the movement hurts. Hop doesn’t get much more than it takes to live the way he had while camping in the Wild Area: sleeping on a cot in the lab curled up with Dubwool for warmth, and making curry night after night. Hop doesn’t argue, despite this. Professor Sonia doesn’t know what happens at his house but he’ll come up with some lie and get enough money together to buy a pot lid from the mart in Wedgehurst.

It’s not really about the dish as much as forcing him to do all this while he’s still in so much pain he can barely keep conscious. Hop’s always known that. He keeps nodding and wishes their voices were quieter, quieter…

He doesn’t realize even that his mother’s finished talking until she yanks him up by the arm. There’s a phone ringing—his phone—it’s been ringing for ten minutes from his room upstairs, Hop slowly realizes, as his skull pounds with terrible intensity at his mother’s manhandling. The twins must be calling him. He prays they aren’t going to be outside when he’s headed to Route 1.

He stumbles, hits the front door and scrabbles against it hard enough to break his nails for purchase when his mother shoves him. She’s still shouting something about having such an irresponsible second son and Hop beads with sweat on his neck as he feels his grandmother’s stare, knows he’s got to make it to the next town over without a Pokémon, knows he’s been through worse and that he’s lucky they didn’t kill him.

This is…fine. This is normal. Hop’s lived through worse.

He manages to right himself after heavy swaying on his feet. He opens the front door and nearly gasps aloud at how painful the sunlight is outside, flinching back.

Hop’s eyes snap open when he hears a sharp intake of breath.

Not from the kitchen. Not behind him.

Slowly, full of dread that outweighs even the crushing pain in his head and the arm that he can’t get to rest comfortably at his side, Hop forces his aching neck to crane up and see who’s outside.

Leon stares back at him. His expression frozen. Hop is able to see through his matched black eyes, his brother staring at him.

And he gives a small whimper of terror and hopes it’s a hallucination.

Even as his grandmother behind him lets out a swearword in Kalosian Hop’s never heard.

* * *

Leon’s eyes travel down Hop’s body, expression still inscrutable. Blank like a mask.

He takes in the pair of black eyes. The rapidly bruising elbow, the blood on his neck, dripping down on Hop’s back and the collar of his shirt. A few bruises too minor for Hop himself to have noticed compared to the other hurts littering Hop’s face.

One of Leon’s large hands reaches toward Hop, the older moving like he isn’t aware of himself. He’s still staring unfocused at Hop, as if caught in a trance.

This can’t—this can’t be happening, Hop thinks, shaking. Leon’s not even supposed to be here.

The door’s still open and Hop hears his mother yelling his name. Telling him he’d better not be wasting time or he’s going to _get it._

Please stop, he wishes he could say aloud, instead of the pathetic bubbling noise that comes from his throat. He too-slowly glances with unfocused eyes to the kitchen at his back. She’s not in sight but he hears footsteps, coming closer…

Hop’s breath hitches and he whimpers again, eyes closing as he feels calloused fingers cup his face.

“Hop.”

Hop opens his eyes. His vision won’t focus and he swears that Leon’s won’t either, properly, seeing his younger brother as if he’s never looked at him before.

Hop wants to say _I’m sorry,_ or, _This isn’t what it looks like_.

“Lee,” Hop whimpers for him pitifully instead.

His voice is so small he can barely hear it in his own ears. Wonders if his brother has heard anything at all.

His swollen eyes and blurred vision are making it harder to see as the tears gather, a sob nearly shaking him if he had the strength. He can feel it when their mother finally steps behind him, one hand raised. Hop can _feel_ her there as certainly as a Gengar looming in a human’s shadow prepared to strike.

“Hop, if I have to tell you one more time, I swear I’ll—” she snarls, and then stops dead.

Lee’s fingers rub circles against Hop’s bruised cheek another moment before he looks up slowly from his brother.

Hop has tears streaming down his face and two black eyes. Arm held wrongly at an angle that looks ominous. Bleeding from somewhere on the back of his head through matted hair.

“Leon—” their mum stutters. She seems at an absolute loss for what to say.

Leon steps past Hop, careful not to jostle the smaller body despite his larger size as he enters through the doorway.

“Tell me you didn’t do this,” the once-Champion of Galar says softly, slowly. The tone makes it absolutely clear he wouldn’t believe her if she did; there is a danger there, and Hop’s fighting to breathe. His head is pounding and he can’t move, even if he’s desperate to turn around to see the scene play out, to stop this, tell Leon it’s just some misunderstanding.

“Tell me that you didn’t hurt my little brother.”

His mother garbles something frantic. Inarticulate.

“You hurt him.”

“L-Leon. Don’t be—”

Hop cringes and then gasps for pain from it, but it’s not enough to hide the sound of heavy footsteps and his mother’s and his grandmother’s cries for him to stop, wait. His grandfather jolting up from the couch and running in to see what’s going on, and—

The unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh. A hand slapping to hurt, louder even if it isnt against Hop’s head this time for once. A sound Hop’s known since his memory began, the sound that was his world whenever Leon wasn’t home.

There are voices ringing out and Hop’s hyperventilating. He’s done it now. He’s ruined Leon. He’s ruined their family, ruined everything.

Time blurs. Then, there are large, soft hands against Hop’s body, and he goes boneless where he’s leaning in the doorway.

“Come on,” Leon murmurs to him gently, like nothing at all is wrong.

He leans Hop into the curve of one arm and bends at the legs, to scoop his brother up below his knees as well. Too easily maneuvered from dizziness and pain, and soon enough Hop finds himself splayed out with his injured arm folded over himself, laying bridal style in the hold of familiar arms.

The words are comforting, soft. Soothing, not loud. Not angry, even though they should be.

Leon should be angry, Hop thinks fuzzily.

“M’sorry.”

They stop.

“None of that.” There’s a kiss pressed ever so softly to Hops hair, gentle even at the spot where it’s bloody that there’s no more pain. Hop wonders for the tenth time if he isn’t dreaming.

The arms around him don’t stop the existing pain from radiating when his body’s moved. But Hop’s not being jostled around to maximize the amount it hurts, for once. He’s not being tortured by anything compounding on what’s already done.

He feels. Not any way he has before, when this has happened.

Hop’s curled against a broad, warm chest, cradled to another person like something…valuable. Worth the effort. He sobs dryly, so confused, and feels another soft kiss against his hair.

* * *

Hop closes his eyes and wishes: all thoughts focused toward the stone still inside the Dynamax band wrapped around the wrist of his one good arm for all these years.

He wishes that he at least gets the chance to apologize to his brother, for real, first, if he dies today after all. If this gentleness is how he is being taken to whatever lies beyond.

It’s the last thing Hop remembers thinking before the world goes dark.


	2. flesh.

Hop comes to—well, he comes to for the first time he _remembers_ —in a place that smells too much like a hospital to be anything else. His first thought is that he’s gone and messed up again, made himself too visible at home, where he just can’t do anything right and so of course he’d gotten hell for it.

If he’s in a hospital Hop sluggishly guesses his grandfather must have hit Hop hard enough this time again to break something that’d be delicate or visible enough to require surgery. Which…explains why Hop’s only in a small amount of pain near his left elbow and yet is suddenly crying his eyes out for no reason at all before he opens them and tries to look around. Anesthesia kind of just has that effect on him.

There’s movement of someone shifting in a chair right next to him, and even through the haze of drugs Hop feels adrenaline snap him temporarily wide awake. There’s a tear-blurred shape of an adult body _very_ close to the hospital bed he’s lying on, and Hop gasps. Too late he attempts to lift his hands to wipe his face so that whoever it is that had to come and get him after the surgery won’t see him crying especially if it’s his grandmother. If Hop’s crying that just means he’s not properly grateful they took him in for treatment and so he has to stop it, stop it now _or else_ so they won’t get mad—

His left elbow radiates a sickening bolt of pain throughout his entire body when he lifts it too far and Hop gasps, doubling over. He’s hurting so much and trying not to throw up that he nearly misses a matching noise coming from the person sitting at his bedside.

“Hop! Hop, woah, take it easy. _Please_.”

Hop freezes.

Hop remembers.

Oh god he messed up. It’s Leon. It’s Leon, Leon came home, Leon saw him, Leon knows. He knows their mum isn’t a good person after all and _he knows Hop lied_.

“Lee,” he attempts, the drugs slurring his voice, the desperation making things that much worse. “Lee I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You weren’ s’posst to know, I—I.”

There’s a sound very much like a sharp intake of air. Hop knows that sound and has a horrible thought that his brother’s about to choke out a sob himself. Even though that’s impossible, because Leon never cries.

Oh god. If Hop’s actually made Leon _cry_ —Hop bits his lip and lets the tears fall freely, hating himself. Thoughtlessly half-wishing that no one brought him in, that he could’ve just died instead. That way they could say it was an accident.

Or maybe if he just went under permanently from the anesthesia. It wouldn’t hurt. It’s the nicest feeling sometimes, sleeping without having to dream, getting to wake up without any pain or with a lot less than there is.

And Leon wouldn’t have to sound so sad if his little brother hadn’t gone and messed things up so badly. Hop probably his heart in half that morning, maybe their whole family for that matter, if the day’s still the same. Hop remembers everything now even through the haze of drugs.

Leon’s voice being pained when he quickly speaks up only makes Hop’s suspicions solidify. He cries harder.

“Oh, Hop, kid, no…no…”

Leon sounds so sad and it’s his fault. Leon was supposed to come home and see a family that loved him, that loved, that was good. Hop’s gone and taken that away from his big brother, now, never mind that Leon wasn’t supposed to visit earlier.

“I’m _sorry,_ ” Hop tries to sob to him, teeth chattering. But Hop’s so tired and pumped full of painkillers the words aren’t coming out properly. Talking hurts his head, crying hurts a whole lot more. “’M sorry. Please don’t hate—don’t _hate_ me—”

It’s selfish and he regrets the words as soon as they come out. But impossibly muscular arms wrap around him that could break him in half with ease, and Hop goes stiff with fear on instinct before he realizes belatedly who it is. He goes slack and lets himself lie pliant against his brother, not caring as his tears leak helplessly onto Leon’s clothes.

“I will _never_ hate you,” Lee says to him, hushing, pressing kisses in his hair and on his forehead. He’s so careful not to grip his baby brother anywhere it hurts. “Oh, Hop. This is all my fault. Please don’t be upset, I’m going to take care of everything.”

Hop doesn’t understand. “Lllee—”

“Shh,” Leon soothes, though Hop can hear something like worry or guil or…or something in his voice and it makes his stomach tie in knots.

“Don’t worry, Hop. They—They won’t ever hurt you again. Not ever. I’m sorry, kid, I—god, I am so sorry.”

Hop’s barely listening, inhaling the scent of Leon’s shirt where his face is leaned flat to the side on his brother’s shoulder. Hop’s still weeping but calming more with every word that passes.

He wants to apologize again. He wants to tell Leon this was always Hop’s own fault: he could have avoided this, if he’d just gone to Gloria and Victor’s house. That way Leon wouldn’t have to see him in such a mess.

But sleep claims Hop again before he can open his mouth to speak. Leon doesn’t let him go, holds him for a long time even after that.

* * *

In the private hospital room, Leon stays that way, holding his brother to his chest long after Leon’s certain Hop’s drifted off again.

Leon rocks the smaller body back and forth and tries to quell the desperate fear suffused in his being, when he looks down at the most important person in his life in a hospital gown looking like an unrecognizable, battered child.

Neck brace, matching black eyes from a hard blow to the back of the head. A cast on one arm. Mottled bruises painted on his skin.

Hop was in surgery so long Leon was terrified in his certainty, they’d come out at some point and give him the worst kind of news. He was waiting on pins and needles, heart hammering for the moment they came to tell him that they were sorry, truly; they had done all they could.

That moment never came. But something terrible struck him still at some point during those hours terrible hours, even before Gloria and Victor rushed in with tears streaming down their faces and Hop’s Pokémon on his familiar belt, swiped somehow from their home. Leon comforted the pair of them and waited for his chance before he finally got a moment with them alone, away from their mum to talk—heart sinking to realize he was _right_ to suspect, this couldn’t have been a one-time incident, that something in his gut had been correct for all these years to think it was unsettling that he could be away so much yet still so much the favorite in his Postwick home.

His little brother’s suffered like this in silence for years. Leon is sick at the thought of it. Somehow their family convinced Hop that even _Leon_ would hate him if Hop told the truth, hate Hop for lying on top of being a disappointment compared to his champion brother.

Who isn’t even the champion anymore, but honestly, who cares? Leon holds his brother tighter, unthinking or he’d be more careful to mind Hop’s wounds.

He’d trade the near-decade he spent as Champion just for the chance to give what should have been Hop’s childhood back as well.

Leon’s shaken to his core by the day’s events. He expected visiting home to be a nice surprise. He has to stop a laugh of hysteria from bubbling out at the thought.

Leon doesn’t hate Hop. Far from it. Leon hates _himself_ , a hundred times more now than he thought he did before. More than he believed was even possible.

Always, the elder assumed _he_ was the most dangerous one in their family to be near his baby brother. Because of how…how, what, he is. The way he _felt_. It wasn’t right.

Hop was his brother. His _younger brother_. Leon had all but raised him when their parents had been more than happy to let their disinterest pale comapred to Leon and his enthusiasm when Hop was born, child or not at the time himself—a part of Leon will always think of Hop as his own to lay claim to over anyone else in their family. Especially now. A part of him will always think of Hop as his, his baby.

But…that’s the problem, isn’t? Leon thinks, trying to carefully ease his grip on Hop without fully letting go.

He can’t make himself set him down fully on the bed. Not now. Though he thinks he should.

Not like Leon did for all those years, letting Hop go. Leaving him behind Not knowing what he let happen in his absence.

Leon recognized his feelings for Hop at some point, they were every bit as undeniable as they weren’t right. He left home early and he kept his distance. Always throwing himself into his work, visiting home just enough to be big brother enough that Hop wouldn’t feel abandoned (or so Leon hoped, at least). Leon thought, truly, Hop was safer that way.

Leon was stupid. So stupid.

He’s tempted after this never to let Hop out of his sight for how badly he miscalculated, at younger even than his brother’s age to make such a big decision.

But Leon has to tell him the truth, he thinks, and sucks in a breath of discomfort and fear at the thought.

Lying by omission, it’s dangerous. If Leon leaves things as they are, he’s going to keep Hop at arm’s length because of how awful and alluring that temptation that crossed his mind really is, he knows he would, to keep his brother safe from what Leon might do.

And Hop’s going to notice. And he’s going to think their mum and their grandparents were _right,_ unless—unless Leon tells him.

Leon knows he won’t see Hop after that. That hurts the most, or he thinks it does. But then he looks down at how badly his brother’s hurt and remembers the medical records he saw today after tossing enough money at the hospital clerics to get what he wanted, honor be damned.

 _That_ hurts the most. Leon had never imagined that kind of pain before today, seeing a lifetime of Hop, his brother, his baby, in misery and pain dangerously close to the edge again and again etched out for Leon to see on paper.

This, today isn’t the worst Hop has been through. The number of visits on the record, the injuries listed made Leon excuse himself to the hospital restroom. He heaved his guts out after locking himself in, at the thought of how he was living it up in Wyndon as the Champion while Hop’s lucky to be alive.

Because it would seem that their mum and their grandfather _are insane._ They could have killed him. They _would_ have killed him. _  
_

And Leon understands that he has to face his fears and do the right thing after all these years of putting any worries out of his mind. Because Hop was always smiling for him when he came home. And Leon let the lie, lie.

No more.

Leon will dump his life savings on Gloria and Victor if Hop can go live at their penthouse; he’ll give it to Sonia to renovate the lab or move to a bigger city to do real research on the Wild Area. Anything Hop wants after Leon tells him, honestly, that he loves him no less than he did before.

Even if not the way a brother should.

It’s going to hurt. But now it’s his turn. Leon smiles down at his baby brother and lets a few tears roll down his cheeks as his heart absolutely _aches_.

Hop’s done enough suffering on his behalf. Leon won’t let their family, including himself, ruin his brother’s life this way—not anymore. Hop’s too young. Hop’s not even a teenager yet. He’s got time to become someone, something great, even if it isn’t the kind of greatness that lands him on the TV screens in front of a screaming stadium.

It took so long for even Leon to see all his potential. He hates himself for that, too.

Leon will just have to accept how it feels. To take his turn, being the one watching from a distance.

He doesn’t hope for Hop to forgive him.

“Please just get better,” he whispers softly into his brother’s hair.

And Leon bites his lip and finally lets the tears fall freely, with no one to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm, i miscalculated. maybe 1-2 more chapters?? but i think the worst is over. ;_;
> 
> thanks to everyone for reading!! i appreciate your comments and feedback so so much <3 it means enough to know anyone spent the time. i'll try to respond to comments on the last chapter soon


	3. more than

It’s not an immediate process, getting well again.

It never was. Broken bones were rare. But even if Hop didn’t have a mum that would help him walk or hold his hand when he could move around again, Hop had the internet.

He knew how to deal with taking casts of himself. He knew but was a little impatient on the steps you had to do when taking stitches out (or having Gloria do it for him, because Hop fainted the first time he tried, and the second; and Victor absolutely refused).

Or how to walk and make it look like he wasn’t dizzy when he couldn’t keep his balance.

He was shite at lying, but he knew how to tell when other people wouldn’t know—like, knowing when Professor Magnolia was busy enough that she’d wave him over to Sonia, so Hop could ask the older girl to look up what he ought to do when, say, a _Pokémon_ in the neighborhood was having headaches a lot after hitting its head? and did that mean anything bad? and then triple-checking the internet again, to make sure it really was the same stuff humans used for concussions once the girl looked up something in a boring book and then give gave him a crushed-up plant solution from the lab instead of regular pills.

Compared to living at home Hop used to figure becoming Champion would be a breeze. And then Bede happened, and, well. At least Hop knows now that he likes helping Pokémon a lot more than trying to come up with strategies to battle them against trainers that do it a lot better and don’t seem to focus so much on making sure everyone has a good time.

Hop’s gotten used to the idea that, aside from Sonia and however long she agreed to let him stay on at the Wedgehurst lab, he’s going to be pretty lonely. Once…Once the twins forget about him, and move on with their life in Wyndon, like he was so sure Leon did ages ago except for a visit home with presents that did help a little to ease the ache for having a brother in his life every once in a while.

This time, though, when Hop gets out of the hospital, he has _help_.

And the weirdest part is trying not to argue, every time someone insists that he deserves it.

* * *

Having people there after they let him out of the hospital is weird enough.

(It’s two days overnight, longer than Hop’s ever stayed from an injury before. But Leon’s there the entire time for some reason, even though Hop tells him he doesn’t have to stay. Hop belies his own words by falling asleep leaned into his big brother’s shoulder more than once, but repeats himself, searching the other’s face. Until he’s certain that Leon’s really there because he wants to be.)

Hop didn’t realize how much he maybe _needed_ help with stuff like getting…getting hurt by his mum or his other family members, until help’s there.

When it isn’t just Gloria and her brother climbing the high tree in Hop’s family’s backyard yard at night through his window, to slip him ice packs, or little capsules full of over-the-counter painkillers, begging him to call his brother or the police or someone or come home with them while he shushes them until they go all teary-eyed and leave.

Or it’s not just his Wooloo curled in bed beside him. When Hop’s sick and his whole body is wracked with chills, infections setting in hard in the absence of whatever antibiotics the hospital doctors prescribed that never got filled. His grandmother always told Hop that he’d gotten himself into these situations and he’d just have to tough it out.

Hop believed that too, kind of, until he realizes just how bad it really is, while recounting a few such memories of how he handled things Before to his big brother.

Then Hop looks up to see, to his shock and horror, that Leon’s been staring at him horrorstruck the whole time, tears in his eyes. While Hop was distracted flexing his fingers excitedly in his new cast because Leon and the insistent twins took him back to the orthopedist in Hammerlock for a follow-up.

“I’m sorr—” Hop rushes to get out, face flushing, but Leon cuts him off with a strangled word. 

_“Don’t.”_

Hop shuts his mouth, uncertain what else to do. He lets Leon walk forward and reach out, pulling him close. It’s gotten less and less strange as the weeks pass, for Lee and even the twins to hug him like this, the longer his brother stays with him.

Hop lets his eyes close and his guard drop, lets Lee hold him as his older brother shakes and whispers apologies, over and over, without Hop ever really knowing why or what for.

* * *

And everything maybe would be…almost like what Hop could imagine perfect feeling like, besides that Hop can tell (and is anxious, on eggshells, _waiting_ ) that underneath his attentive care, his big brother’s hiding something.

It’d be easier not to be a hair’s breadth from going to pieces for no reason the longer he’s away from routine, from normalcy, from work, if Leon would at least let him apologize properly for ruining their family if this ends with his big brother disowning him for good, but Leon won’t.

Part of Hop knows that Leon would never do that.

Part of Hop watches Leon open his mouth sometimes like he’s about to say something, close it again, refusing to meet Hop’s eyes.

And the doubt and fear winds and coils in his stomach like a little Snom has made its home in there, to keep Hop feeling cold and afraid even though he knows that he doesn’t have to ever go back home again.

* * *

He’s having a pretty good day—the twins took him outside and his vision’s working right again, he doesn’t have a headache, his stomach is lacking in terrible nausea for once from the painkillers because he kept his lunch down and more of it than usual.

That’s sort of how Hop consoles himself, when Leon finally calls him inside, on the elevator ride to Leon’s loft room at the Rose of the Roselands where Hop is staying: it only figures that the older clears his throat awkwardly and Hop knows it means a Conversation.

“Do you have a minute?” Leon asks softly.

Hop almost gets the sense that his big brother’s hoping to hear back, _No_.

But Hop always has time for Leon.

And it’s easy to smile for Leon, even though inside Hop’s twisty and nervous and far less composed than his usual self about whatever it is that they might be going to talk about. Having Lee there has been…it means a lot to him. So much he wants to sob from it, so much he still wonders at night if he isn’t really dead.

“Sure, Lee.”

* * *

Leon sits down on his bed when they reach the room after walking through the short lobby of the topmost floor in silence to his private suite.

“Why…don’t you sit down,” Leon mumbles, taking his hat off long enough to run a hand through the top of his hair.

Hop stares. He’s not used to the sight of his brother taking the snapback off. He composes himself soon enough and scurries obediently to the nearby chair on the opposite wall that Leon waves him toward.

Hop hardly realizes there’s a bit of hurt somewhere, too, alongside that anxiety twisting in him. That it’s because his brother didn’t pat the spot beside him on the bed for him instead.

Leon looks up at Hop and Hop’s face falls at his expression. Leon’s eyes look haunted, and the younger knows: whatever Leon has to say is bad enough to make him worry. Truly, really worry.

“Hop…” Leon starts, but then stops. He sighs.

“I’m…not sure what your plans are once you’re recovered.”

Oh. Oh, no. This could go a hundred ways and all of the end in Leon leaving again and Hop…

Maybe…maybe he isn't ready for that. Not yet.

Hop opens his mouth. To say what, he doesn’t know. Something reassuring, that he’s happy to be here for as long as Leon doesn’t mind him (but what if he does?) or that he can come and visit from the lab on weekends, or really anything, anything—

Leon stops him from speaking a word of it with one grave look, holding up one hand.

“But before you do, I…no. There’s something we need to talk about.”

Hop swallows. Nervous. Because _Leon’s_ nervous.

Because Hop’s missed Leon so much. So long. Because the past few weeks made having a concussion and a fractured elbow feel sometimes like the best thing that could have _happened_ to him, not that he would be crazy enough to say it aloud. Because Leon’s made him feel safe for the last time Hop can remember. Wanted. Cared about, by someone that knows what to _do_ when things just get awful.

And Hop knows that for all that, Leon has been hiding something from him for the duration of his stay. That’s ending now—this window of time with his brother, where things are kind of, actually okay. And the thing that Leon’s hiding both—it’s all closing off from him too fast without Leon having a single word.

Hop kind of already wants to cry, and bites his lip.

But he can’t deny his brother the chance to tell him anything. Honestly it’s what he—it’s what Hop always wanted. To be the sort of person that Leon could trust with anything.

So instead of crumpling like he wants to, Hop settles in his chair and makes himself breathe.

Leon slowly, quietly, takes a deep breath too.

And then he begins to talk.

* * *

By the time he finishes saying all that needs to be said, Leon’s in tears.

He’s not crying, fully. But his vision is blurred and he has one hand up to his face, covering his mouth partially as if to hide the anguished grimace he knows he’s wearing. Hop hasn’t moved that he can tell, hasn’t made a sound. But Leon honestly can’t bear to look at him and see Hop’s face right now.

Hop is silent. Processing, maybe. It gives Leon some moments to think make sure he’s gone over anything.

He told his brother he can use as much of Leon’s earnings as he needs without any obligation of debt, considering just how much Leon has. To finance what Hop wants to do with his life—right? Yes, Leon’s sure he mentioned it. Hop can either decide to do things on his own, or with Sonia, or with the twins; whatever happens would be Hop’s own decision to make.

Yes, Leon mentioned he made it clear he won’t ever try to contact Hop without his permission. That he knows his feelings are wrong and he understands if Hop doesn’t feel comfortable being near him again, would be happier cutting off contact.

Leon’s told his brother he’s prepared to deal with their parents in Court if it comes to that, without Hop needing to be present.

Leon made it abundantly clear Hop never has to see Leon’s face again if he doesn’t want to. Which may or may not be the reason Leon’s crying, honestly. The ex-Champion…he isn’t really sure. He just _hurts_. He hates having to tell Hop this. He hates having to rip away the last piece of family Hop maybe could count on right as he’s recovering, but the longer he waits the harder it is for Leon to remind himself he has to say it.

Leon’s waiting. For rejection, questions, anger. _Something_.

He hears Hop get out of his chair. Leon gives a shaky sigh.

So this is it. Hop’s going to leave. He’s going to walk out of the room, not say a word. And maybe later, the twins’ mum or Magnolia will call, and they can settle things—

There’s a sound of shuffling feet right in front of him. Leon jerks his head up, startled

Hop’s standing right in front of him, where Leon’s sat on the bed wound tightly, with one leg crossed up and above the other that’s tapping restless on the floor. Leon’s so tall and Hop still scrawny enough by comparison that Hop only stands over him a handful of centimeters, even discounting Leon’s slouched a bit. Leon blinks wide-eyed at the way his brother’s staring at him wide-eyed too. He looks uncertain.

“Lee,” Hop says tremulously. His voice is an attempt at the one he used a long time ago, when he was trying—and failing, badly—to sound confident, to be the picture of the person he imitated back when he used to watch Leon’s matches on TV.

Leon’s not sure what’s going on. He stares up at Hop with his mouth partially open, but uncertain of exactly what to ask. Because he doesn't know what Hop is trying to ask in turn.

Not until Hop awkwardly leans in to close the distance between them without closing his eyes, kissing Leon directly on the mouth.

* * *

Oh. _Oh_.

Oh, fuck. No. No, this can’t. This wasn’t supposed to.

Fuck.

Leon thought he prepared himself for anything. He thought he was braced for _anything_ Hop could say or do, and Leon was ready to move forward with however Hop expressed his discomfort: disgust, anger, however it manifested, inevitably. What should have been inevitably.

Once Hop learned his big brother the former Champion, his once-idol, was a perverted creep. No better than the rest of their family, really. Just a man ill at ease in his own skin for having wanted Hop and really no one else, since they were both just kids. Had to fill the void with fame and leave Hop to the jackals they turned out to share worse blood with.

Leon maybe couldn't be blamed, for not predicting this…one response he failed to consider.

He still feels like about ten kinds of idiot, with his brother's mouth warm and _real_ pressing up against his own. The knowledge of it more than the kiss itself sends an unfamiliar jolt of something intense rippling through him, out from his lips to the rest of his body along his spine to his extremities before making its way into his gut and _lower_ in the worst, best, awful, uncertain sort of way.

Shit. Shit.

Oh fuck.

Leon wasn’t prepared for this.

This talk is going to be a lot longer than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really the second-to-last one this time. really, really, for real.
> 
> i'm not sure i like this one as much as the others but next one should make up for it ;v; thx so much for reading……………leehop is love


	4. …but can endure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd unedited i'll fix my typos later and try not to just settle for we die like men, lol

Hop doesn’t kiss Leon for very long. A few long seconds pass, and he pulls back from his brother long before he’s running short of air. Unconsciously, Hop runs his tongue over his lips, considering. How it felt.

But he keeps his head tilted down for a moment before peering up at Leon through his lashes, shy.

Leon’s giving him a frozen look. It’s not that different from that day in Postwick, when Leon opened the door to see Hop barely on his feet and standing in the doorway practically bashed out of his brains.

It’s also not a look that Hop wasn’t sort of expecting, honestly. And at least this time it’s not because there’s blood everywhere. Just—surprised. Hop feels the knot of anxiety in his stomach ease up to know it, the tiniest bit.

He’s trying to decide if he likes the way the kiss felt or not, when Leon interrupts his thoughts after taking a moment to apparently gather his wits.

_“Hop.”_

Leon’s voice is harsh, but it cracks on the name, so Hop knows Leon isn’t _mad_ so much as freaked out. That’s fair, he mulls over in his head. Hop would’ve freaked out too.

Hop moves his head up quickly to look at him anyway, wanting it to be clear he’s listening. Except, he’s distracted, at the realization with a feeling of genuine happiness that it didn’t hurt this time to do that and make a sudden movement with his head for the first time since the incident with his mum—before Hop dampens again. Having caught sight of his older brother’s expression, Hop can see Leon looks absolutely stricken.

“Hop, what’re you—what—why,” Leon wheezes out, eyes practically bugging out. Hop blinks at him.

Leon’s not mad, or Hop might be scared. As it is, Hop feels…comfortable, still. Almost relieved.

He feels a twinge of guilt though, remembering that instead of explaining he just kind of dug his shoes dug a bit into the carpet before he leaned down to kiss Lee like that. Hop was prepared for the possibility that Leon might shove him violently away. Leon didn’t, and Hop’s grateful for that. He really, really is.

He’s also grateful that Leon didn’t suddenly go all…intense on him, and try to make it, like, a _kiss_ -kiss. To wrap his arms around Hop or anything like that or pull him close. Hop hasn’t done this before, it’s the first time he’s kissed anyone at all. He knows he’d probably panic if it suddenly felt like what was testing the waters suddenly became a game of sink-or-swim.

But Leon didn’t do any of that. Even though Hop…wasn’t exactly transparent to Leon about what he’d been doing, could have been sending any weird signal he didn’t know about, which he acknowledges uncomfortably to himself. His good hand awkwardly wraps itself to the back of his neck to scratch the skin there, discomforted. He’s trying to think of what to say in response to Leon’s question.

“I…wanted to try it?” Hop offers lamely, wishing that the truth sounded cooler than it is.

He has no idea what to make of the fact that his brother apparently… _like_ -likes him, that this isn’t some sort of elaborate prank. Because Hop is an awkward, overenthusiastic little beanpole who gets “cute” and not much else by way of compliments, the way people talk about baby Pokémon at daycares.

And Leon’s pretty much the coolest guy in the universe. Forget Galar. Leon could pretty much have a crush on anyone—and Hop, for all zero percent of what he knows about _like-liking_ people, as in romantically, figures there’s a very-not-bad chance that the feeling would be reciprocated.

But Leon likes _him_. His little brother. Apparently enough that he left home earlier than most kids to start his Gym Challenge, came home less frequently than he could have because he was scared of…doing something bad to him? Hop’s not clear on the details but it’s hard to imagine Leon being violent to him when even a normal person probably would have shoved someone away for just kissing them out of nowhere.

Hop thought about what Leon was saying, trying not to get too caught up in his own distress while his brother broke down in increasingly despairing tones. Trying not to freak out hearing Leon talk about how Hop was free to go live away from him anywhere he pleased, take a bunch of his savings and stay where he was with Sonia or the twins, or wherever he wanted without even asking if maybe, well—what if Hop liked him back?

Hop doesn’t _know_ if he likes him back—not like that—but also he doesn’t know he doesn’t, either. Of course he _likes_ Leon, the regular way. Like a brother and all.

He loves Leon, in fact. So much it hurts to think of being separated from him the way his brother talked about, like Hop wouldn’t want to see him just because Leon’s got weird feelings that he can’t control. Leon’s the best thing in Hop’s life, always has been. Even when he wasn’t there ,Hop would wait and hope and watch him on TV and yearn.

Because Leon being there meant being safe again. Being loved by somebody that was loved by everyone, but still took the time for him, and knew how to make Hop feel like somebody that was supposed to care about him did.

Leon’s the center of Hop’s universe. Hop’s never thought about it going deeper than that, the way Leon clearly has.

But there’s a first time for everything, right?

Leon looks dumbstruck. “You…wanted to try it,” he repeats weakly. Hop nods, wondering if he’s broken his older brother. This would be kind of funny if Leon wasn’t still teary-eyed and looking really confused.

Hop thinks about how it felt, kissing him. Even now Hop can’t say he’s sure of anything. Kissing Leon hadn’t felt bad, that much he can say for sure. It’s just Hop’s never kissed anyone else before, either, so he isn’t really sure if he did it right or if he’s supposed to be getting something different out of it other than the relief that Leon’s still pretty much Leon while being kissed.

Leon…hadn’t done anything when Hop pressed their mouths together to make Hop get the sense he ought to be feeling threatened, or unsafe. Pretty much the opposite. Leon waited, he let Hop do his thing, and then he didn’t start yelling after. That’s all Hop would have asked for, and Hop hadn’t, though winces and wish he could have beforehand if he could find the words.

Hop likes that Leon’s always patient with him when no one else is. That he doesn’t push or pull too hard, even if maybe Hop really needs it. He might ask Gloria and Victor to do it in his stead, but Leon can’t be the one that _forces_ Hop to grow up or teaches him too strictly.

Because he…

Hop guesses it’s because Leon didn’t like to see him upset. Hop wishes, still, that he hadn’t had to see Hop so _very_ upset after what their mum did this last time. But what’s done is done.

Hop thinks about it more and he’s pretty sure he didn’t dislike kissing Leon.

“…Is that okay?” he finally asks in a sheepish voice, glad that his complexion isn’t really prone to show him blushing or any bruises easily. That they show anyway after his mum or his grandfather are done with him anyway is all the more reason that—but no, Hop shoves the thought aside.

If there’s one thing he’s not gonna be preoccupied with now, it’s the thought of people hitting him. He just kissed Leon on the mouth and Leon didn’t push him or grab him or anything. That’s about as nonthreatening as it gets.

Leon looks at Hop with a lost expression, swallows. Hop watches the movement of his throat as his Adam’s apple bobs.

“Hop…” he says. Leon seems to gain some more vigor as he speaks, and his voice is stronger when he continues. “Hop, I don’t want you—whatever reason you had for doing that, it isn’t right. We’re brothers. You know that.”

Hop raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well, mums aren’t supposed to hit their kids till their eyes bug out, either?” he offers. “But it never stopped ours.” Then he realizes what kind of comparison he’s just made, and Hop adds hastily, “N-Not like it’s the same thing! I didn’t mean—”

“Hop,” Leon interrupts, and Hop goes quiet.

“Hop, tell me honestly.” Leon gives him a look that isn’t confused anymore, but seems guilty, full of pain. Hop can’t begin to guess why.

Hop was the one that kissed him, right? Leon didn’t even kiss him back. Leon doesn’t need to be feeling bad now, even if that’s not something he’s ever wanted on his conscience. He didn’t kiss him back, and Hop is happy for it, knows for certain now that Leon’s being stupid if he actually thinks being near Hop means Leon’s somehow going to go all lovey-dovey crazy on him in a way Hop doesn’t want.

If…If Hop doesn’t want. He’s still thinking over that. But Leon interrupts before he can mull over it too far.

“You didn’t kiss me because you feel the same way that I have about…about you,” Leon says, forcing out the last words and looking away like they cause him physical pain. But then he looks at Hop again, and sighs. “I know you. I know you haven’t thought about me like that at all or even considered it before today. I want to know if you’re just—trying to—god, I don’t know. If you feel like you owe me something. Or…if you think you _have_ to feel the same way just because it’s what I want, o-or—”

“Um,” Hop offers, interrupting before Leon can finish the last bit. “I know I don’t _have_ to, so, uh. Don’t worry about that. I’ve…I don’t want to…be you anymore, Leon.”

Hop swallows. Because as much as he needed the lesson, it had hurt to find out that the thing he’d pursued since his brother left him at home wasn’t what would make him happiest or feel like what he was doing with his life was really worthwhile.

“I mean. I know you maybe don’t know how my whole Gym Challenge went, but Gloria and Victor—” and that ass Bede, he thinks privately, already hearing the sneering response of _That’s_ Gym Leader _Ass Bede to you, you pathetic little dirt stain_ in some corner of his mind in response, “—they, uh, helped me figure that part out myself, and so did Zamazenta. I know I don’t have to be exactly like you, or want the things you want. That’s why I decided I want to work with Sonia to become a professor—honest. That’s not why I…”

Kissed you, Hop tries to finish, but he’s too shy. He glances down instead and shuffles his feet on the carpet, hoping his face isn’t warm enough to show any tinge of red.

Leon’s expression hardens when Hop looks up again. “Please don’t tell me it’s because you feel like…like you _owe_ me,” he says harshly, sounding upset in the vein of something is stabbing into his stomach at the thought. “Or because it’s something you feel like you have to do, for me to—I— _Hop_. I as good as ruined your childhood when I ran away to go take on the Gym Challenge, winner or not. I left you alone at home to spare my own feelings, and you got hurt for it. And I’m the stupid jerk that never even noticed something was wrong when I could be assed to visit.”

Part of that is true. And that hurts.

But part of it is also ridiculous, and Hop folds his arms and scowls and blinks any tears away that threaten to form at the more painful side of what his brother has to say.

“It’s not about owing you anything!” he snaps. Then Hop softens, looking at his brother. “I, Lee. I-I do think I owe you a lot, but not—it’s not something I’d—”

He realizes he’s digging himself into a corner by admitting he’s never even had the thought occur to him that stuff like…like kissing or sex or intimacy might be something a person could use as currency. That’s not going to help his case against sounding like a little kid.

So Hop rushes on to his next point instead, coughing awkwardly before plowing on: “I told you, I just—I wanted to try it out. You seem to think I’m not safe with you and I need to go somewhere and—” his own voice cracks and he hates it, swipes his eyes with his good hand, “—and you’re the only one that makes me feel safe. I don’t want you to go away again, Lee. I don’t want you to just…just say you’re gonna take care of everything and then help me with m-mum and them if you’re going to send me off somewhere afterward when I know you wouldn’t hurt me like they did.”

He takes a deep breath. “And, well, I don’t know if I. Feel like that about you? But if I did, that’d be…” he swallows.

“I want to make you happy too,” Hop says quietly, hoping Lee doesn’t take it the worst way, feel like some kind of monster or that Hop is forcing himself into this. “I-I love you so much. I don’t want you to hurt just because I’m there, but—I don’t want you to leave. You make me feel safe.”

Lee seems to take all this in, a little teary-eyed himself if unaware of it, seeing Hop in so much pain from trying to get all that out when he’s such a mess of nerves. But instead of moving toward him, Leon draws himself back on the bed, his feet lifted off the floor as he crawls backward on his hands to sit near the center of the mattress.

“Hop, it’s not that simple,” Leon says quietly. “I know that—I know that I got you away from that mess with our family, but that doesn’t change I’m not supposed to want you as more than my family, too. I’m not a very good brother. You aren’t _safe_ with me.”

Hop has to raise an eyebrow at that, and his hands are on his hips before he can stop himself.

“You do a pretty lousy job of proving it, then.”

“Wh—” Leon splutters, and Hop huffs, plops down on the bed. He doesn’t follow Leon where he’s drawn himself further up on the mattress. Instead Hop sits at the edge like Lee had earlier, legging his legs dangle off.

“You didn’t go all crazy or hit me or try to—to get all weird when I kissed _you_ ,” Hop says, telling himself he isn’t pouting. “So what if it turns out I don’t like you back? Are you going to…to…if I didn’t want…”

“No!” Leon says, stricken, bolting upright to give Hop a look of absolute horror. “Hop, trust me, I would never—”

“That’s the point, then!” Hop snaps back, turning around to face him.

Then his face softens. “Just…Just let me try, Lee?”

Unconsciously, his tongue runs over his lips again. Hop misses the way Leon’s eyes dart to the movement, quick enough to catch himself and stare Hop in the eyes again.

“Hop…”

“If I don’t like it, I’ll stop. You’ll let me stop, right?”

“I’d never—”

“But maybe I…will.” Hop swallows and turns around on the bed, crawling on all fours toward his brother, who is shaking and seems split on whether he ought to try and bolt before Hop reaches him.

“Just—” Hop swallows. “I can’t promise anything, but I want—it’d be so easy if we both—please let me try.”

Lee stares at him, frozen. Hop leans in again, and kisses him.

Once. Shorter than the last one, before he pulls away. Hop goes in for another, not missing the way that the look that Leon’s got on his face now that Hop did it for a second time is doing unfamiliar things to Hop in places…well, okay, in one place, but it’s unfamiliar and not unpleasant and warm and uncomfortable but he doesn’t feel scared if Leon’s there.

He pulls away again and glances up at Leon, who must be really warm by now because he doesn’t blush too easily, either, and Hop sees the tinge of red against his skin.

“Um,” Hop says softly, and bites his lip. “Can I…do you think you could…”

Leon makes a strangled noise that’s kind of cute for how much it contrasts with how tall he is. Hop lets himself laugh a little bit to ease the tension, shifting further so his weight is all off his injured arm but he’s still comfortable.

“I think I might…like it more if…if you kissed me instead?” Hop asks, feeling his face go hot with embarrassment at the request, tracing patterns on the bedsheets with his good hand.

Leon shudders bodily. “Oh my god, Hop, you—you’re—I cant be doing this to you. You’ll regret it later, I know you’ll understand I took advantage, and—”

“If I want to leave later,” Hop says, simply, like he’s talking to someone stupid, because Leon’s not great with directions, “Then I can leave later, right? You wanted me to leave today.”

Then: “Please, Leon.” Hop swallows, eyes darting away out of embarrassment, maybe something else like the warmth that’s unfamiliar and pooling through his legs up to the middle of him. “P-Please can you. Kiss me. Just once?”

Leon makes a sound that’s almost a whine, except his voice is too deep for that.

“I’m an awful brother.” He mutters at no one, staring at the ceiling. “Awful, awful brother.”

“Well, would you hurry up and _prove_ it, then?” Hop mutters waspishly, trying not to sound too impatient.

But he glances up and Hop’s breath catches at the _look_ that Leon gives him then.

Torn, conflicted. Most of all, _wanting_.

Leon—Leon really does like him, Hop finally realizes. Hop goes tingly and a little breathless; weak, almost, at the thought. Warmth blossoms in his chest, spreading out to all of him, and not the same kind exactly that’s making his small prick twitch in his leggings.

Maybe…Maybe that later, Hop thinks dizzily. For now, all he’s asking is a kiss. Leon can give him that much, can’t he?

His brother inches forward on the bed, not taking his eyes off Hop. His expression goes so soft, so concerned when he gets close, and he cups Hop’s face so that Hop feels at once relaxed and leans into it.

It’s…nice. Being touched like this is nice.

He knows why people do it now. Why people hug and kiss and hold hands or clap each other’s shoulders.

Hop wishes he’d known what all that was like before. But he’ll take what Leon has to give him happily, will take anything. He opens his eyes and Leon stares at him with so much love and guilt and want.

“I love you.” Leon says simply. “You—I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Hop remembers the way Leon had spoken, trancelike, those long weeks ago in the kitchen back in Postwick when Hop was bleeding and his entire world was pain.

You hurt him.

“You won’t,” Hop says softly, looking up at him. “You don’t have to. I don’t want you to go away, Lee. I don’t want to go away from you. I love you so much…I…”

Leon closes his eyes and finally leans in, sealing their lips in a kiss.

Yes, Hop thinks, melting into it, going boneless and feeling safe and loved and happy and all those things he never had quite right before.

Yes. Hop thinks he likes this. He _really_ likes this.

Hop hopes he isn’t dead or dreaming—thinks that for once in his life, everything may actually be better than okay, and he is happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand that's the end!! ;v; I hope you liked it, and feedback as always is appreciated if you want to tell me what you thought or maybe what you'd like to see next! no promises but i've got more leehop ideas on the way

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i’m…not really new to this, like i have an existing account > > but, i wanted to keep writing fanfic and needed a clean slate to avoid Someone irl who knows my old one. 
> 
> anyway!! i love leehop, i love hop in general, a bunch of ships, and the rest of the sword and shield crew. sweet baby ♥ this story is all fluff from here, probably no smut. but oh i'll get there.
> 
> got a new twitter over at @psychic_surge also if you want to come follow me there! not much to speak of yet, but I got wrapped up in finishing this story in all of one night. i can't believe i made it through so fast aaaaa


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